Hey Guys, Welcome back to my crazy house blog! Been sitting here trying to figure out a nickname, to call you all, besides “Guys”! But I cannot quite find the perfect term to show how much I appreciate your visits. Hmm…. Drop a comment below if you have any suggestions. Falling off topic again…. My son is such a teenager now, it is crazy (where did the time go). He chose to stay home on Saturday to play with his Fortnite video game which was quite fine. This gave my daughter and I a chance to have some much needed, one on one quality girl time to get some shopping done and take a break from the forever lasting sibling rivalry. We later spiced it up with some homemade burgers, fries and chocolate milk shakes for supper #Yumm (for some strange reason this meal makes me think of the story David’s Father by Robert Munsch ). #surviedanotherweekend #MomADHDbrain #OffTopic #QualityTime
Back on track… I wanted to share with you all my own personal experience being un-medicated versus being medicated.
ADHD for me was not the “typical ADHD” that you would expect, so I assume that is why my parent’s chose not to medicate me. I was an extremely quiet and shy girl, who had a hard time making friends, was often labeled the daydreamer, slow-learner, shy, unmotivated, lazy, etc. But in reality, my mind was racing with everything going on inside my head. I’d often start disorganized conversations. had a hard time filtering my thoughts. By the time I gathered myself to follow instructions that did not interest me, the teacher or whoever had already moved on. The littlest things would distract me making it hard to remember things that were not important to me. Having a busy mind made it very difficult to copy notes from the chalk board (yes, I am that old *giggles), learn games kids would make up at recess or even remember words to a song. This made me feel very frustrated, But I never acted out, instead I would not try because no one expected anything better, I just fell further and further behind in school. I became an expert at faking illnesses just to avoid going to school; so well in fact I was hospitalized more than a few times as a result.
This lasted until I moved out on my own and I figured out how well I do with routines and tricks to calm my mind and avoid triggers that overwhelm me. Some of my triggers are fallowing a conversation with more than one person at time, Trying to accomplish more then one thing at a time, waiting, being alone with my thoughts for too long, Not knowing what exactly is going on, like making plans with someone who is not cretin about the time, location or date of the event. The daily struggles were there, despite all my effort to avoiding them.
Becoming a mom to kids with additional needs became even harder, because I not only had my own thoughts, but I also had the thoughts and worry concerning the kids to add on top of everything else. I felt like my brain was too full, that I could not think properly, like my thoughts were clouded if that makes sense. I managed the best I could with a strict routine which coincidental became a god-sent to raising kids with additional needs as they thrived on it and so did I.
It only became a problem managing without medication when I left my ex-husband for the third time resulting in a final divorce. With my kids growing needs changing, I gave up my home-based business to focus more on my kids and myself to grow and enrich our lives for the better. But this meant our routine was broken and finding a new one that worked for us all was the hardest part. I was exhausted and did not want to do anything. Pulling myself together everyday, struggling with the kids and their issues and everything was totals out of control. There were so many tears, sleepless nights, meltdowns you couldn’t imagine, feeling of giving up and throwing in the towel came more often then I’d like to admit, but what held me together the most was the love for my babies and the hope of a better tomorrow.
I got my self out of bed every day, it was hard, soooo hard, but I did it. I found amazing friends that became family, I was mama and I had to fight for us because no one else would. I went to every doctor’s appointment for myself and my kids, I seek’ed counselling, I listened to the advice from professionals and took notes of everything! I researched and read every spare moment I had. I tried everything until I found a bit of light.
The light was from doctor M. Smar, she suggested that I may have ADHD as it tends to be past on through the parent’s, so she did the test and sure enough she was right. As hesitant as I was, I agreed to try the medication. The medication has been a life changer for us, Even though the medication takes about 2 hours to work and there is some feeling of my body crashing within those two hours, dry mouth and headaches if I don’t eat or drink enough, But it’s so worth it! I have found my energy, I can organize my thoughts, my mind isn’t clouded anymore and everything I’ve spent the last few years researching has become clear. Which is why I’ve started this blog to share my journey on how I’m taking back control of my life one step at a time, in hopes it may also shed a bit of light on someone else.
The journey of recovery is just beginning. I have so much more to share with you on how to deal with it all. With the chaos and craziness, the tears and explosions, the forgetfulness and lack of motivation for yourself and your kid’s, because only you can control you. As hard as it is true. #changingtheworldforus #beyourself
See you next time at my crazy house,